I have friends tell me all the time that they don’t know how I do “it.” That it could be referring to a million things: how I stay home with my kids, how I have a business from my home, how I am married to a farmer, how I have “a lot” of babies, how I homeschool…the list could go on. Here’s my secret to thriving (not just surviving): family rhythms and routines!

The Difference Between Routines and Schedules

In my mind, there is a BIG difference between following a routine and following a schedule. Our schedule changes daily…but the structure of our days and the rhythm of our routines are consistent.

Let me define the two in a very non-dictionary, real-life way:

• Schedule: follows a timeline. At 7:30a we do this, at 9:30 we do this, etc.
• Routine: a general cadence to the way we live

The Family Rhythm Framework

I’ll get this out of the way: Our daily routine kind of revolves around food. Not in a “we’re constantly eating, thinking, and talking about food” way, though. We focus on appropriately timed meals and snacks as a framework for moving through the day. The kids eat breakfast, then have a morning snack 2-3 hours later. Lunch is around noon, followed by an afternoon snack (again, 2-3 hours later). Then, dinner happens another 2-ish hours after snack.

We don’t schedule our eating on a specific hour, but here’s what it might look on a typical day:

• 7:00 am: Breakfast
• 9:30/10:00 am: Morning snack
• Noon: Lunch
• 3:00 pm: Afternoon snack
• 5:30/6:00 pm: Dinner

These expected mealtimes help my sanity (and grocery budget) in a big way: There is no expectation from my kids that they’ll be eating all day. They don’t ask me for snacks unless they recognize that it’s close to their snack time. We’ve also established that if they do ask for food, the answer is just, “Nope, it’s not time for [snack/lunch/supper] yet.” We don’t argue, we don’t negotiate, and John and I don’t give in. I know they’re nourished because they get well-balanced and protein-inclusive meals and snacks 5 times per day. They aren’t hungry…so I don’t feel bad. And they are all pretty great eaters, which I’m sure is part luck! But they’ve also only ever known balanced meals and snacks…all-day eating means they aren’t hungry at the main meals!).

Moving through our Daily Rhythms at Home

With mealtimes as our framework, the rest of our days are structured into routine blocks. These blocks are general windows in the day where certain things naturally get done, but nothing is really on a specific timeline.

Block 1: Early Mornings

Our kids are all pretty early risers. Our oldest is known to wake up around 6:00 am (here is the “wake time” clock we implemented for her so she knows when she can come out of her room!) and it is a VERY rare occasion that everyone isn’t up-and-at-’em by 7:00 am. So our morning is typically the busiest and most productive part of the day as a family!

We try to feed the kids about 30 minutes after they wake up. When it’s not busy season on the farm, John usually gets breakfast ready.

After breakfast, I do the have-to chores that keep the house from exploding: empty and reload the dishwasher, switch, fold, and start the day’s laundry, and then do our school. Sometimes other things REALLY need doing (like vac-mopping the floor), or the kids are outside and super into their play. In those cases, school happens later in the day!

Block 2: Late Mornings

Again, I don’t set an alarm or follow a strict deadline for our daily rhythms and structure. Everything flows from one part to another. The second block in our day includes tons of free play, a mid-morning snack, a few read-alouds, house cleaning/kids chores, and a quick work check-in as needed.

Block 3: Early Afternoon

The next segment kicks off with lunch. After lunch, the kids play while I get the kitchen back into its normal amount of chaos. My little middle takes a good 2-hour nap most days, usually somewhere between 1:00 pm and 3:30 pm. While he naps, the big girls finish up their schoolwork for the day if needed, play quietly together in the basement, or have quiet time in their rooms (usually after playing together proves to be an issue that afternoon!). This is also one of the times I try to fit in an hour or so of work as needed.

Block 4: Late Afternoon/Evening

This block begins as soon as my little middle roars back to the land of the wakened. Our afternoon snack happens as soon as he’s out of his room. Then, we all might dive into the chapter of one of our read-alouds, or simply read a few picture books together on the couch. After that, the kids just play. I’ll work on getting supper ready, and if it’s not busy season I’m probably calling John to see when he will be home!

After supper, the kids brush their teeth, put on their pajamas, and play until bedtime. We usually start bedtime around 6:50/7:00 pm and we finish up somewhere between 8-8:30 (I typically handle the majority of tuck-ins. And while it makes for a long stretch, sometimes this is the only one-on-one connection time I get with the kids even though I’m with them all day!).

Once bedtime is wrapped up, I don’t do much (if any) housework – unless it’s starting the dishwasher because I forgot right after supper! This is my time to catch up on whatever work I have, connect with John, and feed and snuggle our baby uninterrupted. (I try to work most of the housework into my day-time rhythms. I think it’s important for them to see that adults have responsibilities, and it also encourages them to want to “help.”)

Family Rhythms Give Us Freedom

This routine isn’t new to us. We began this kind of structure once I started my business and left the classroom to be home, while Peyton was just a baby! The number of kiddos we have has grown, and I’ve also grown. Keeping a routine is simple and natural for us now, and as we welcome more blessings into the world, our rhythm only gets a little bit sweeter.

Notes on our Rhythms and Routines:

Where is the baby in all of this?

Our youngest fits into our lives. When she’s hungry, I feed her. If she needs a diaper change, we get it done. When you have multiple kids, you figure out pretty quick what you have the capacity to worry about and what you become super flexible with. The rhythms we’ve established in our routines provide the space for everyone’s needs to be met, even with a teenie tiny!

Screen time

We aren’t screen-free all the time. When we do watch TV, it’s usually at the very beginning of “block four.” After naptime, we might put on a show while I prep/they eat snacks. [However, I am pretty intentional (re: picky) on the types of shows I let them watch. Amazon Prime seems to have the best options for less stimulating kids’ entertainment!]

Out of the Norm Rhythms

I am constantly thanking God that we get to spend our days at home, on our own schedule, living just a little bit slower than most people do these days. When we are out and about, obviously our rhythms look a little different. However, we still stick to the basic structure of our day: breakfast, snack, lunch, rest, snack, dinner.

Want to follow along with our daily rhythms and routines? Find me on Instagram and say hello!

Interested in working together? Fill out my contact form and let’s get to know each other!